Gosh its been a long time since I have written anything. I wish I could tell you that its because I forgot but honestly being pregnant is a full time job. I mean that in the best way possible! However it really kicked my butt in the beginning and now at 34 weeks I feel like I finally have a handle on it. Perfect timing right? That seems pretty standard for me. I like to tell my friends that I’m a sort of organized hot mess. That my life is organized in an “only Kathleen can figure it out” type of way. Good thing my husband is one of the most organized and structured humans alive or else I’m convinced I would be lost. Seriously God did me a solid when he created Dean.
Nevertheless the Burtons are having a baby which is seriously SO CRAZY. Sometimes I genuinely can’t wrap my head around the fact that I married the goofy Tin Man from high school who I met in EIGHTH GRADE YALL! Its wild to me that Dean is the man who God chose for me because if you would have told me that 10 years ago I would have genuinely laughed at you. Thank goodness Gods plan is so much better than ours.
Pregnancy seriously wrecks you in ways you never knew you could be wrecked. This must be a small taste of motherhood because I swear I feel like such a different person today than I did 8 months ago. In the midst of my everyday all day “morning” sickness (ha! morning! what a joke.) I have never felt more myself. I was telling my sisters once that all of the self conscious (typical girl) thoughts I had before about what I looked like vanished. God has given me such a spirit of joy throughout these 8 months. My florida friends could probably tell you that I laugh at myself a lot, and aside from a couple “pregnancy moments” where I needed a good cry I have never felt more carefree. I don’t know about everyone else but people have been SO kind to me during pregnancy. Who doesn’t want random strangers complementing you? I probably look like a whale but seriously who cares because people lie and tell you you glow and thats pretty darn great.
Pregnancy has taught me a lot of things and opened my eyes VERY wide to realities of life. One of the most amazing things I have been able to witness is honestly just Dean evolve as a husband and an almost dad. Ive said it before and Im sure ill say it again but he has such a heart of service and it has shown so much this year. I haven’t been able to help as much around the house and do as many things as I used to do but he has really stepped up to pick up the slack, and honestly pick up ME. I know I’m GROWING the human but thats pretty much it. Dean’s basically killing it at #dadprep and I couldn’t be more grateful to be his wife.
Just the other day we were watching TV and out of nowhere I leaned forward and threw up all over the floor. Like EVERYWHERE people. Im pretty sure the dogs were horrified as they looked like I had just told them they would never see peanut butter again. I was frozen in shock at what I had just done, Dean starts yelling “GO TO THE BATHROOM” because apparently that thought didn’t cross my mind, so as I rush to our powder room Dean grabs the dogs, puts them in their crate and runs to the kitchen to start cleanup. As I continue this incredibly attractive act of “emptying my stomach” Dean is GAGGING while he cleans up the floor in the living room (god bless tile) and we are both DYING laughing because what has just gone down was both shocking but hilarious.
LET ME TELL YOU LADIES. I know this world tells you to find a man who will romance your pants off with gifts and lavish dates and all the most romantic phrases you can find but let me be the first to tell you that as great as the romance is, NOTHING is better than a man who will literally clean up your puke. You can tell me all day how important flowers and candlelight dinners and walks on the beach are but until that man also commits to holding your hair over the toilet while you puke your guts out and THEN tells you how awesome you are after I am convinced that the latter is best. I don’t know if its more years of marriage or pregnancy but you start to really appreciate different qualities in your spouse. Qualities that are ADMIRABLE. Dean is constantly showing me how committed he is to our family. I never doubt that we are in this together and that feels pretty good y’all.
Our church friends joke that Dean and I remind them of two labradors. That we are goofy, happy creatures who just laugh and smile a lot. I think people could definitely see this as an insult being compared to a dog but you know how I see it? I see JOY! I see full hearts and so much love, and if you know us at all we actually OWN labs and they seem to fit just perfectly in this house.
Regardless, pregnancy has been a journey for the both of us and as it comes to an end I look back and see the things we have gotten to experience together, the ways we have grown, and the struggles we have overcome and I am so proud to welcome a child into our messy life. I could cry thinking of the ways Dean will make this baby laugh as hard as I have laughed. The wonder of the newborn stage that Dean has NO knowledge of but I know without a doubt that he will love, and the anticipation of witnessing another person truly look at Dean and love him the way that I do absolutely wrecks me. In the best ways possible.
So have I mastered pregnancy? HA! I wish. But Dean? Dean has it pretty much down.